Sunday, September 7, 2014

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Minutes

Let's revisit this story for the Blogging Abroad "Crazy Moments" prompt, as I remember it as being one of my earliest, craziest, and definitely most discussed moments. 

Story was called on my Facebook status about breaking up with the Moldovan boyfriend you didn't know you had, so we all know what that means. But don't worry, I was going to tell this story anyway. 

We have to go back in time for the background to this story - about two weeks ago is when I got the note. {Edit: This is a note from a guy in my village who wanted to meet and speak with me.} I met the writer of that note that day and talked with him for no more than 5 minutes, probably. I was not aware that 5 minutes was enough time to fall in love with me, but apparently I underestimated my charm.

We live on the same street, which is logical in this village, as everything of note is on my street. So I walk past his house twice a day, but I didn't see him again after that first time until the first day of school. You might recall that he was there and gave a speech as well. He also brought me flowers that day, but I didn't think too much of that because a bunch of random children gave me flowers, too. 

But then.. He came to the mayor's office on my birthday. As my host mom and I were returning from the magazin with our food, he was wandering the hallways looking lost. She abruptly told him, She is very busy! and we went into my office where everyone else was and locked the door. I assume he left after that.

At my birthday celebration, people kept toasting (obviously, because people kept drinking) and usually when they would toast to me, they'd say "La mulți ani!" which is "Happy birthday" but literally means, "to many years." Occasionally, however (and often enough for me to remember it), they would say, "La mulți ani, la mulți bani, și un bărbat moldovan!" So: Many years, much money, and a Moldovan man. Just what I want. 

Apparently the toasts worked (at least partly.. not rich yet!), because the next morning at work, my partner answered the phone and then looked at me. "Catea, remember the man who came and gave you flowers at the first day of school?" Ummmm, yes. "He wants to talk to you." I reluctantly take the phone from her and he tells me that he was hoping to talk to me yesterday and would like me to stop at his house after work. I say that I don't know when I'll be leaving work, but he doesn't care and just says, okay I will wait for you from 3-4. Very specific. The women made fun of me after that, naturally. And we of course left work at noon so I had to return to his house at 3 to talk to him.

He was indeed waiting for me in his yard, and at first he asks for my help with something (but I don't know what, because I didn't understand and he didn't repeat it when I asked), so I think, oh good, he's not going to tell me he's secretly in love with me. By the way, this conversation is in English - he's not fluent but it's admittedly better than my Romanian, so. 

Then he says, "I knew when I saw you I liked you. Do you have boyfriend?"

I think, this is the perfect time to lie, but then I think, well no it's not because everyone else in the village knows I don't have one, so I say, "Um, no.. But I don't need one!" 

"But aren't you lonely?" 

Ummmm. Obviously, yes. I have zero friends in town so far and no children in my host family to hang out with. But to that I say, "No, I have friends, and I.. talk to them.."

This doesn't convince him, I don't think, but I again say that I don't want/need a boyfriend, so he accepts this (maybe) and says, "But you will still help me?" 

Still not sure what he wants help with so I just said I wasn't sure and then that was it, I go back to my house. 

This conversation was so awkward that I had to just laugh my way back. So many random things happen in Moldova, but this is certainly in the running for the top strangest. That 5 minute conversation literally doubles the amount of time we have spoken.. I'm assuming most couples know each other a little longer before they begin a relationship, but maybe Americans are just doing it wrong, for all I know. 

Currently making a list of criteria for my perfect man.. Only have one thing on it so far, and it's We must speak the same language. I'm open to suggestions for the rest of the list, but for now I'm keeping that at #1. {I'll amend this slightly - we have to be able to understand each other somehow!}

Blogging Abroad's Boot Camp Blog Challenge: Starting January 2015

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